‘For Rufus’

This evening I came home to a chilly apartment, no light on, no radio on and more importantly, no chirping cockatiel pottering about in his cage waiting for me to let him out for an amble. Instead, I put the key in the door and heard no sound and entered with dread, because I knew that this morning I had held Rufus, this little being who had been in my life for 24 years, in my hands as he died. I knew that I would have to face this reality now and man up to do what was needed. To do it not with maudlin self pity but with love. If I have learnt anything the last few years, it is that death is about love, not misery. It took me a while, and A LOT of bereavements, and I won't lie, I feel just awful, but it is only love and empathy which ...

‘From Sadness to Serenity’

Some people experience few if any bereavements in their lives, I really have had plenty of practice at it now and while still by no means an expert have learnt enough to be able to offer some helpful thoughts. Last month my friend Aubrey died. He was 91 and for the last 3 years the Puppy and I have been visiting him at the nursing home he lived in. I feel nothing but deep calm about the whole situation and I will explain why. Nothing I write will do him, or our friendship justice but I'll have a go. This post is mainly about who he was, because he deserves the attention, but also about how I have learnt the truth of the maxim If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change About six months after Mama died to take my mind off things I became a therapy ...

‘We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are’

This Anaïs Nin quote is overused in the blogosphere, but is nevertheless one I favour. And for this post entirely appropriate. There are many topics I wish to discuss. France and President Hollande's unusual tax ideas. The real reason as it seems to me why the digital age advanced so quickly. Why the Kosovo - Serbia agreement is so precarious. A little musing on why Marcel Aymé back in the 1940s was so prescient on the economic mayhem we have now. Also probably a little something on why David Cameron has quite clearly lost the plot altogether regarding the EU. All these things can wait. Because what is P-for Prussia really in fact all about? What is the purpose? Coming out the other side of bereavement. I see dead people. No, don't worry, not like the little boy in 'The Sixth Sense'. I haven't completely lost my mind or discovered psychic abilities. I mean doppelgängers of people I've lost. Vivid , ...

‘Time to get personal’

By Friday, December 21, 2012 2 Permalink

Sharing personal secrets or memories is not something I generally tend to do but the last few weeks have forced me to reminisce about my lost loved ones more than usual. (Ten times a day maybe rather than the normal two to three then)! This has been caused by a number of factors. My mother's birthday came and went, the third one I have spent without her. It passed without much stress on my part. The first one in 2010 which came four months after she died was obviously painful but I went out for dinner with one of my few girlfriends to 'celebrate' as it had been a tradition until then to always take Mama out for a splendid lunch/tea/dinner to somewhere we had never tried. I missed that and still do. Even in foodie obsessed Britain,I am not sure anyone I know has the same obsession with restaurants as the ...